It's weird..

It's so weird how sometimes you can feel like such an outcast.
I normally don't see or pay attention to color (ethnicity) unless it's brought to my attention. But not too long ago I was at my brother's aunt's house. It was all fun and games until they began speaking about black people. I must make it clear that everyone there was black, with me having the lightest skin. Back into what i was saying, they bagan a discussion about how light skinned black people are conceited and very much into themselves. How we basically believe that we are above the darker skinned. Then to hear his aunt tell her daughter to bring ONLY a dark man home, she can't stand yellow bone (light skin).... The feeling i felt was just...ehh inexplanable. I was pretty angry to hear that but was pretty shocked to see that this was being said in my face!!

It's soo bad because I'm always being badgered by my own race about how i don't hang out with "enough" black people. Then a day when I do, I am placed in a position like that? It's bullshit. On other occasions as well, i'm always being questioned about why am i this way or that way? Why do u wear those clothes? Why do you speak that way? Why haven't I seen you with a black girl? It bugs the hell out of me when I'm being told what I should do when it's based on nothing but pure ignorance.

So on either side for me, i just noticed that i feel i share no ethnicity with anyone. Most of my friends are Asian, but I'm not Asian, nor do I want to be or feel like I am. I find it nice to see other ethnicities that hang with each other speaking their native language. Since i am so facinated by language, I envy that privilege. To be able to communicate with someone else through that common ground. I DON'T have a native language... It seems very little but i think it sucks terribly. I don't know, it sounds emo but yeah just thought that I'd type about this. I don't feel that common ground that others may feel, everything about our relationship is based on your character =] Too bad all of us don't share the same outlook.